How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam? Guide 2023

Reviewed by: Shakira Ahmed
Fact Checked by: Shahina Islam

How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam
How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam

How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam: Parents are revered and respected in all cultures, and this is especially true in Islam. However, the Islamic community does not talk enough about how to deal with Unfair Parents in Islam. Let’s talk about it here.

Understanding their viewpoint and being prepared to converse with them is one strategy. Even if it may be challenging, it is crucial to be kind, empathic, and understanding towards them. 

We sometimes have to acknowledge the possibility of unfair parental behavior. According to Islam, a parent’s choices or behaviors may be harmful to or unfair to their child.

How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam?

How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam: It is conceivable for parents to make choices that are better for themselves than for their children. 

This may indicate poor parenting, as parents put their personal wants before those of their kids. 

Furthermore, some parents might have a toxic personality that harms their kids and spreads toxicity to their siblings.

A hard topic that is under-discussed in Islam is how to deal with toxic parents. Islam places a strong emphasis on honoring parents, but it’s also crucial to identify toxic behavior, such as passivity, verbal and physical abuse, and manipulation, and take action to deal with it. 

When dealing with toxic parents, communication is essential, and it’s crucial to have discussions that confront the negative they bring into our lives.

Praying for them and asking an impartial person to assist you can both be beneficial. Human connections, particularly those within families, can be complicated, but Muslims are dedicated to fostering strong links to the extended family and coping constructively with dysfunctional parents.

How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam: You can buy presents for your kids. Additionally, praising their actions can help a lot.

How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam – Change Your Negative Parents

How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam?

You might try implementing the eight useful tips below to handle your abusive parents. Let’s read about How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam.

Have Somebody Intervene

It can be useful to have someone intervene and communicate with toxic parents on your behalf. This individual can be a close friend or family member you can trust to talk to your parents about your problems, like an aunt or uncle.

However, you should be cautious about sharing your family issues with them, as some relatives might be toxic. Select a person who genuinely cares about your well-being and that of your family. 

The Strength Of Patience

It’s crucial to understand that change won’t come immediately if you’re dealing with toxic and abusive parents. In reality, it may take weeks, months, or even years to fully assist your parents in changing their negative habits and perspectives. If you’re determined to improve your relationship with them, patience is essential.

Always keep in mind that change is a process, therefore it’s crucial to approach it with compassion and understanding. You may help your parents kick their bad habits and develop a stronger, healthier bond with them by being persistent and patient with them.

Never Lose Your Temper And Attempt To Comprehend Their Psychology

When our parents, frequently out of ignorance, say or do things that go against our ideas or religious views, it is crucial to keep our composure and try to understand their psychology.

Even if we are upset, it is our responsibility to act wisely in these times. Anger expression is against Islamic beliefs and could make the problem worse.

Instead, even if our parents are mistaken due to their ignorance or arrogance, we should try to understand them and see things from their point of view. We should refrain from taking any steps that would encourage their bad behavior as Muslims.

Ask Your Local Imam To Deliver A Khutbah On Children’s Rights

You frequently tell your parents to do or keep something up, yet they fail to do so. Additionally, they take it more seriously if the local imam mentions it at the same time.

Due to a significant generational and technological gap in our community, abusive and toxic parenting issues are fairly prevalent. If you discuss this with the imam of your neighborhood mosque, he is probably going to listen to you. He is aware that it is very typical these days.

This issue will have a significant impact on your parents if the Imam gives a khutbah on Friday. Even if you don’t see results right away, the Imam’s lecture would at least alter their perspective.

Consult A Qualified Counselor

Sometimes we require expert assistance. Such problems are frequently dealt with by a psychiatrist or family therapist. They are aware of what functions in specific situations.

Offer Them A Dua

Naturally, you’ll want to modify their false perceptions of the world, but don’t forget to offer them dua. Ask Allah SWT to help them accept the truth and act for the benefit of society rather than their own egos.

Show Them The Way By Following Through

Again, your parents won’t pay attention to you, no matter how inspiring a speech you give. All families experience this on a regular basis. Teaching parents the proper approach is the only way to cope with them. 

They will understand the situation clearly and try to alter you as best they can once they see that you are literally doing what you ask of them.

Read Books Related To Adab/Manner

You can introduce books and chapters that discuss etiquette if you have a family halaqa in your home and both or one of your parents remains there.

The problem with the majority of abusive parents is that they have no idea how to discipline their kids properly. The main cause of the war is this.

You simply cannot lecture them or tell them what is good or bad since it is unlikely that they would pay attention to you. Introduce them instead with Islamic scholars’ books that address this specific issue.

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What Are Some Instances Of Parents Acting Toxically?

toxic parents behavior

  • Acting hostilely but subtly
  • Requiring their kids to pursue a degree
  • Being violent and verbally rude to youngsters
  • Manipulating their relationship with their kids for their own gain
  • Not allowing their child enough room to grow independently Restricting their child’s natural interaction without cause

Unfortunately, Muslim homes exhibit the aforementioned behavior rather frequently. This may prevent kids from opening out to their parents and fostering a positive bond.

What Does ‘Fair’ Signify In The Islamic Tradition?

Islam interprets the word “fair” to mean treating everyone equally and having compassion for one’s offspring.

For more information on “How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam” do check out the video given below:-


How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam: Finally, it should be noted that dealing with unjust parents in Islam can be a very trying and emotional experience. Keep in mind that parents are fallible beings with their own flaws and imperfections. Even if you believe your parents are acting unfairly, one way to address this scenario is to keep a courteous attitude towards them.

A more pleasant relationship between you and your parents can be fostered by communicating with kindness and understanding, which can assist to defuse difficult situations.

The stress of having to deal with unjust parents can also be effectively managed by asking a dependable friend, family member, or even a religious leader for assistance. Thanks for reading “How To Deal With Unfair Parents In Islam”.

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